Encouraging Sister

             Sometimes we come across a person who changes our whole perspective on life. Before I cam to America my life was really crazy. I been bulled harassed and all of my friends went against me because they want me to be just like them and not act myself. They took my entire confidence away from me because they were all against me. They made me feel so lonely and not have no trust in my self. 

            I have always dreamed of a friend. What is a friend anyway? A friend is someone who more becomes like sister or a brother to you at the end. A friend is someone you can tell your deepest secrets with and would know that they will never go against you no matter what and will there for you and never leave you. They will fight with you through the thick and thin. They will never make you feel bad. They would want you to act yourself and not change for anyone. They are the one that will love you for who you are. The one that doesn’t want anything in return from you, the one you can call family. They are the ones that will always be there for you to protect you and to have your back and to encourage you. I have always dreamed of that.

Luckily, when I came to the United States I met my best friend Jill who becomes more like my own sister. Jill has always encouraged me through the tough times and taught me important lessons along the way. She helped me grow into the person I am and because of that I will always admire her.

            My sister, Jill, taught me important life lessons like patience, honesty, and optimism. She showed me that in the tough times giving up is not an option, that I have to keep going no matter what happens. She helped me realize that while you may not always be able to get what you want you can make the best out of what you have. Jill has always been there for me, through the gratifying and dreadful times, and I know she will continue to be there for me.

              She was always there to show me that things weren't as bad as it was making them out to be. When things didn't go my way when I wanted them to she told me to be patient and they would come – and they always did. She always told me to look on the bright side, that every cloud has its silver lining. But these simple lessons she taught me changed my whole outlook on life. It taught me that I always have to keep a positive attitude no matter what happens. It’s hard to find a friend like that. Without her I would not be as happy as I am now. Through good and bad times, I’m positive that forever we will still remain friends. She’s a friend that I could and will never forget. Jill can tell if I’m lying even if I am keeping a straight face! I don’t know how she does it! We think so alike and its like were communicating with our minds! At the same time were always thinking the same thing or have the same idea. Even if I did try to lie to her, she knows me so well; she could tell I was lying. You may just have good friends that you can count on sometimes, but to be dependable on a person and knowing they will be there for you, it’s hard to find someone like that.

She helps me through my toughest times, and is there for my best times. She helps me pick out what and what not to buy! Together we are unstoppable! We also help each other with schoolwork, and family and friends problems. It’s hard to find a friend like that. We have so many inside jokes that nobody would understand unless they were there, or if they were just us! Not everyone gets our stupid jokes, and they might think that there immature and childish, but together we make them funny and get a good laugh out of it!

            I never thought I would have this girl in my life now she is more like family, like sister. I thank god I have her.  

When I first met her, she was with her boyfriend at the Circle of Friends banquet put on by Lutheran Services of Des Moines in the spring of 2008.  My first impression of her was that she was stuck up.  She seemed to have an attitude.  I tried to talk to her but she didn’t really respond to what I was saying and when she did she seemed dismissive.    The next time I saw her was during the 4^th of July.  She was teaching my brother Hashim how to break dance.  When he saw me he asked me if I remembered meeting Jill.  I said yes.  WE invited her and her friend to come to our house to eat the next day and they ended up spending the night.  Since it was the summer and they were off from school, they ended up coming over almost every day.  We did everything together.  They lived close to our house, so they would ride their bikes to our house late at night, which made my dad angry.  Not because they come over too late, but because he was afraid that something bad would happen to them in the middle of the night.  I found that they were not stuck up like I originally thought.  We were not wealthy, but they never cared, they just enjoyed my company and spending time with my family.  That is when I realized that they loved me for who I am, I didn’t have to be anything or anyone else.  Jill was always there when anyone in my family was sick, even when I broke my collarbone, I didn’t go to the hospital, I called Jill.  I was like “hey Jill, I think I broke my arm.”  And she immediately drove to my house and took me to the hospital and stayed with me the whole night.    After that I knew that I can always count on her to help me.  Later, when Anna went back to Iowa State, it was just Jill and I and that is when we really grew close.  Even though she is older than I am, we still found that we had a lot in common.  We shared secrets with each other that we had never shared with anyone else, ever.  I would tell her some of these things, I would think, “did I really just share that with her?”  Before telling her my biggest secret, it was like taking an anvil off of my heart and letting it out.  It felt so good and I cried the whole night and she was crying too.  I was afraid to tell her my deepest secret because I thought that she would not want to be my friend anymore.  But she was loving and kind.  She became like a big sister to me, I took advice from her more than I did from my own mother.  I don’t think that I can do anything without her, she is a huge part of my life.

She taught me a new way to live, she showed me how to see live differently.  I have gone through so much, had problems with family and friends, war, bullying, abuse, and I lost confidence in myself and I didn’t believe in myself anymore and I felt like I was worthless.  Then one day she took me to her parent’s farm.  For some reason, I forgot how to speak English, I would keep talking to Jill in Arabic, and she would look at me like I was crazy.  Then I asked her parents how they met.  I was curious because I saw her dad always doing dishes, helping out around the house, helping his wife out.  He wouldn’t let anyone make her mad, he would always defend her because in his eyes she was always right.  They were like cute little lovebirds, so I wanted to hear their story because I want a relationship like that in the future.  They had experienced worse pain than I have, but the love they had for each other endured.   After hearing their story of car accidents, not being able to have children, then proving the doctors wrong, then beating cancer with a stick, you feel like you were there in each moment and feeling everything.  I saw such love in both their eyes as her father told the story.  After that I ran to the barn and started screaming like a crazy person and crying.  Jill asked me what was wrong, I was struck by her father’s faith that kept him going.  At one point I was going to give up and end it all, I felt so stupid and felt bad about myself and hated myself.  I said sorry to myself for hating myself.  It wasn’t a rational conversation, but I was just expressing the pain and sorrow that I had felt.  I guess in that moment I said, “life is good.”  I was struck by how I lost faith in myself.  I knew deep down that I could do better, and her parents story showed me that even though life doesn’t turn out the way we want to doesn’t mean that it can’t still be good and that I can still find happiness.  Through Jill’s friendship and the love of her parents, I found a new direction in life.  I am still lost in finding my way, but I am on a better path than I was before I met her. 

Jill is the kind of person that I could never lie to. She is the person who inspired me the most. I am so lucky to have her and I couldn’t live without her. She is a true friend and I know I am glad have her now. Our friendship is so strong that we can get through anything. She is here to protect me and hold me every time I fall. I know she will always have my back in anything and fight for me and I sure do the same for her.